My First Mom Meal

Since our sweet boy was born a month ago (yes, I'm crying on the inside), we have been blessed with an outpouring of meals from our friends and family. This has saved us from having to cook the majority of the time. I'm still on maternity leave; but with J back working nights, preparing meals while watching/soothing/changing/feeding/entertaining a newborn is low on my priority list. I think the most ambitious thing I've "cooked" since his birth is a batch of ranch party mix for Book Club.

Our "Hungry Caterpillar"

Tuesday night was our last meal delivery and we finished the leftovers off this afternoon. The end of the lifesaving gravy train, a desire for some of our old pre-pregnancy normalcy, my breastfeeding-induced need to eat EVERYTHING and a killer issue of Food Network magazine, pushed me to actually cook dinner tonight. Although making a hearty salad isn't what I'd normally consider difficult "cooking," this was quite an adventure and lead me to create a list of tips for mamas and daddies reentering the kitchen.

1. The grill is your friend. Especially in summer, you want to avoid overheating your house or yourself. Moms, I know you feel me; our internal thermometers are all out of whack and standing over a hot stove isn't ideal. But perhaps even more important than keeping cool, is avoiding dishes. This salad didn't make a big mess with prep or presentation, but anything you can toss on the grill - especially in foil packets - will make your life exponentially easier. The same goes for your Crock Pot.

2. Plan your meals. You should seriously consider making a weekly meal plan that covers what your family is eating at every meal. We've always made vague plans to help with grocery shopping, but when J completed the Whole 30 this summer we had to make very specific calendars which really helped organize our shopping, cooking and eating. This month, we mapped out our meal deliveries and planned accordingly for breakfasts, lunches and weekends; but now we have to consider what's actually doable when I'm home with baby. Knowing what you're eating each night relieves a lot of stress, especially if you're like us and are constantly in a passive-aggressive battle of "I don't know, what do you want?" But it will also save you time and money, two things you're sure to be short of with a newborn in tow.

3. Read your recipes thoroughly...twice. When you've picked what you want to cook/eat, read the recipes all the way through, double-check the pantry for ingredients and make a detailed shopping list. As we learned today, it's a real pain in the rear to have to go back to the store for a forgotten ingredient, especially if you have to load up baby. When you're making something new (like I tried to do for some reason), make sure you know what you'll need to do ahead of time - like marinating etc.- and do any pre-prep that you can do while your partner is at home or baby is napping.

4. Avoid the "high risk" cooking until your mom-brain is cured (or you get used to it). From the moment sperm hits egg, mommy's brain begins deteriorating. My memory, ability to talk without stumbling, and attention span have all suffered since I became a mom; but apparently it will get better or at least I'll adapt. So bear in mind that now - while you're sleep deprived, stressed and lost in motherhood - you shouldn't use dangerous cooking methods or tools/techniques that require finesse.

Here's a hypothetical example: if you're attempting to make delicious grilled surf and turf salads with Dijon vinaigrette, don't overdo it by trying to make crisp garlic croutons, too. You may just forget them under the broiler, fill the kitchen with smoke, burn yourself reaching in the oven and end up leaving the scarred pan on the porch to finish smoldering...hypothetically, that is. But while we're on that subject, maybe now's the time to freshen up the batteries in your smoke detector.

5. Be kind to the cook - yourself or your partner. Being a new parent is hard. You are trying to keep a small creature alive while running on no sleep; you think you're doing everything wrong; and if you're a mother, your body and mind are probably fighting you, too. But every day that you get up and take care of that little critter is a victory. And I know that deep down, but I forget it a lot and end up beating myself up that I'm not being a good enough mom to him or wife to J. So, focus on what's important - your family - not the (allegedly) burnt bread, bland burger or ugly, fallen cake. My dad sent me this video a week or so ago, mocking my mom's meatloaf, but the sentiment is true. It's not about the burnt toast, it's about the person who tried to put something on the table for you. Don't be so hard on them/yourself; it's just dinner.

And here's a bonus tip for the folks wanting to support new parents:

Please organize meal delivery. This was seriously a lifesaver for us. Having one less thing to worry about, especially a "thing" that makes a mess, costs money and requires sanity to complete, made our days so much easier. Our church and friends organized themselves using Take Them A Meal's service, which is free and doesn't require a log-in, but allows participants to create a calendar, list directions/requests from the family and include information from the donors. This helps parents know when guests are coming - especially important to mommies with their boobs out - and prevents the delivery of eleven lasagnas in a row.

And even beyond the delicious (free) food, it's really nice for the parents to have scheduled visits with people who care about them. I have had a serious case of cabin fever but knowing we'd be having company, even just brief visits to drop off a casserole, was a helpful glimpse into the outside world.